Friday, February 17, 2012

Top Tips for a Dirty weekend......Anyone game?

Here are loads of hot tips to make your dirty weekend away a sexy, sizzling success! Statistics prove that romantic weekend breaks make for successful long-term relationships.
Underwear
I have never met a man who wasn't incredibly turned on by a woman wearing black stockings and suspenders! Or a basque. Or a bustier. Try to pick a few items of sexy lingerie to pay mix and match - she could be an elegant, confident woman in beautifully made silk underwear or a dirty girl in cheap, flashy fishnets. A little role-playing will liven things up a treat.
Replay Your Courtship
If you have been together for a few years, nothing beats the eroticism of re-enacting those early passion-filled days. Kissing in the car, fumbling in your underwear - even making love in the back seat can put the spark into a sexy weekend away. Think back to the places where you had your first moments of intimacy.
Adult Games
Why not take some adult games for couples on your dirty weekend? Put some fun back in the bedroom!
Fantasies
Most men and women have sexual fantasies but do not tend to tell their lovers - after all sharing a fantasy can sometimes break the spell. The trick here is for both of you to write down ten fantasy ideas and then compare lists. If both have a similar fantasy, this is an ideal starting point. Then take it in turns acting out each others fantasies - 20 ideas should keep you going for a real dirty weekend away.
Erotic Food
Getting all your favourite foods into the bedroom can set a wonderful mood - and adding oysters, avocado, chocolate, saffron, etc to your sexy menu will help fuel the fires of passion on your romantic weekend. Remember the scene in 9 1/2 weeks? Let your imagination run riot - you can even use each others' bodies as a plate
Sexy Toys
There are literally dozens of sexy toys, for him and for her, that will spice up your lovemaking. From sexy blindfolds to vibrators, French Maid outfits to handcuffs there are loads of toys to play with. But don't be too judgemental about "cheap and tacky" products - sometimes "cheap and tacky" can be incredibily erotic.
Adult Movies


If you are in hotel room or cottage that has a DVD player take your favourite sexy movies along. This will get the mood going as you lay on the bed drinking champagne watching an adult DVD - maybe even use it as the basis of fantasy role play. Or even go the whole hog and take a proper porn movie to watch - you'll soon be getting down and dirty with your partner.
Make Your Own Movie
Why not
Buy a Book of Sexy Positions
Even the longest dirty weekend will be filled with lust and passion as you work your way through the Perfumed Garden.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Voyeurism

  • What You Need To Know
  • Most of us have a little voyeur or exhibitionist in us.
  • Both voyeurism and exhibitionism are considered paraphilias.
  • Most voyeurs and exhibitionists are men.
"A voyeur and an exhibitionist appear to be a match made in paraphilic heaven. One loves to watch, the other loves to be watched." Tweet This Quote
Guys, have you ever had the desire to check out the hot neighbor while she's tanning by her pool? Have you ever fantasized about having sex in public? If so, you might have a little voyeurism or exhibitionism in your blood. Most of us do to some degree, but how much can mean the difference between fueling fantasies and satisfying erotic desires, or invading someone’s privacy and getting yourself in a load of trouble.

Understanding fetishes starts with paraphilias

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV), paraphilias are recurrent, intense, sexually-arousing fantasies, sexual urges or behaviors generally involving nonhuman objects, the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one’s partner, or children or other non-consenting persons.

Both voyeurism and exhibitionism are considered paraphilias. Voyeurism involves the act of observing an unsuspecting person in the process of disrobing or engaging in sexual activity. Exhibitionism involves the exposure of one’s genitals to an unsuspecting stranger. Each of these would be present for at least six months, and the person would have acted on these sexual urges, or had the urges or fantasies cause a marked distress or interpersonal difficulty to earn a diagnosis.

As with all unique sexual behaviors, having consent is essential. A keyword in the definitions of voyeurism and exhibitionism is “unsuspecting,” which implies a person hasn’t consented to the sexual behavior. For those of you who think you may fall into one or both of these paraphilia categories, a qualified mental health professional should diagnose voyeurism and/or exhibitionism. Treatment can help those who struggle with these desires.

Understanding fetishes may reveal contradictions

A voyeur and an exhibitionist appear to be a match made in paraphilic heaven. One loves to watch, the other loves to be watched. You’d think this would make for beautiful music, but each person in the world has his own individual desires, turn-ons and limits, which can make it difficult to know where to draw the line when engaging in erotic desires. Often, consent plays an important role in whether people get turned on, turned off, angry, excited, or get in trouble with the law. For some, the idea of not having consent is what sexually arouses them, which can be a dangerous game to play.

These days, there are a number of ways people express their voyeuristic/exhibitionist desires, and they range from the harmless to the harmful.

Revealing the voyeur

Some examples of nonconsensual voyeuristic behaviors include using peepholes, spying and using concealed or hidden cameras to record individuals (i.e., Erin Andrews) for upskirt shots and in places like bathrooms, changing rooms and public/private environments.

Some examples of consensual voyeuristic behaviors could include watching a partner undress or masturbate, checking out an internet “live” cam, observing people at a nude beach, and watching people have intercourse at a sex club.

Keep in mind that those individuals on internet live cams, at a nude beach and those having intercourse at a sex club offer a certain degree of implied consent because they are aware they will be seen. Flashers and people engaging in public sex who purposely get caught may fall under non-consensual exhibitionists, while the exotic dancer and people who perform on webcams, have Skype sex or send photos of themselves through sexting may be considered consensual exhibitionists.

Understanding fetishes continues with a look into the psychology of voyeurism and exhibitionism.



The voyeuristic behavior helps the individual deal with feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, pain, self-esteem struggles, and/or underlying mental health issues." Tweet This Quote

What causes these desires?

We’re not sure where these desires come from or how they manifest. There are a number of theories and no definitive answers. One thing that’s certain with fetish and paraphilia theory is that the brain is heavily involved. If brain functioning is central to desire, arousal and compulsive behavior, our future understanding of the origins of voyeurism, exhibitionism, paraphilias, and fetishes will likely cross paths with brain and behavior research.

Some theories suggest that childhood experiences and family dysfunction may be linked to establishing fetishes and paraphilic lovemaps. Other theories to the roots of paraphilias and fetishes include the amount of testosterone in the body, a history of ADHD and traumatic head injuries. However, there is yet to be a causal relationship established by any of these theories, and it appears that many factors influence paraphilias and fetishism with individuals (biological, psychological, sociological, experiential, trauma, etc.). What research has found is that when there is a compulsive component present to voyeurism and exhibitionism, it can become problematic, debilitating and can potentially impact a person’s sexual functioning.

Understanding the voyeur

A diagnosed voyeur likely balances a number of internal and external psychological conflicts. Most are men and many struggle with their own sexual fulfillment and desires. They are often sexually frustrated individuals and have difficulty with sexual relationships and dating. The voyeuristic behavior helps the individual deal with feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, pain, self-esteem struggles, and/or underlying mental health issues. The behaviors may help satisfy or substitute sexual fulfillment and happiness. If you combine those difficulties with a compulsive need to view unsuspecting people in a sexual manner, this can be a difficult burden for anyone to carry and can possibly lead to harmful consequences.

Understanding the exhibitionist

A diagnosed exhibitionist may also experience difficulties that can affect their sexual and interpersonal functioning. Most exhibitionists are males and feel sexually unsatisfied. They often experience internal psychological frustrations or tension and the act of exposing themselves helps alleviate these feelings. Some fantasize that their flashing will produce a sexualized response from the observer. Often, they seek a specific type of response, such as surprise, shock, disgust, or anger to help fill the sexual and/or psychological void within themselves. This response can elicit sexualized feelings and arousal that may lead some to masturbate afterward. If a person offers a different response than what was internally desired (ignoring them, ridicule, laughter), the exhibitionist may feel rejected, angered or humiliated. This could further exacerbate the psychological difficulties they may be dealing with and lead them to continue their  exhibitionism in attempts to deal with their frustrations.
 


42% of college-aged males reported having had at least one incident of secretly watching others in sexual situations." Tweet This Quote
It is highly unlikely that a voyeur or an exhibitionist will become physical or try to have sex with a person. Both, however, will actively seek out people and situations that may provide them with an erotic outlet to engage their desires. For some, their desire to engage in these acts centers less on psychological turmoil and more on the pure arousing eroticism of the behavior. For others, psychology, arousal and compulsive thoughts and behaviors prove to be a powerful combination they struggle to control.

What does the research say about these fetishes?

There’s relatively little research on either voyeurism or exhibitionism, which makes it difficult to have reliable statistics. Most studies focus on people who have never had these desires or people who have experienced legal consequences as a result of satisfying their desires; both variables will produce very different percentages. Therefore, the numbers vary with regard to prevalence.

A major Swedish study using 2,450 randomly selected 18-to-60-year-old subjects found that 3.1% of people (4.1% male, 2.1% female) reported at least one incident of being sexually aroused by exposing their genitals to a stranger. In that same study, they also found that 8% of people (12% male, 4% female) reported at least one incident of being sexually aroused by spying on others having sex.

A U.S. study (n=60) found 42% of college-aged males reported having had at least one incident of secretly watching others in sexual situations. I wonder if this difference in male voyeuristic behaviors (12% versus 42%) has anything to do with Sweden’s sex-positive society and comprehensive sex education for children/teens versus America’s sex-negative society and abstinence-only sex education for children/teens. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

satiate your erotic desires

As with any sexual behavior, too much of a good thing and lack of consent can have destructive outcomes. Voyeurism and exhibitionism are like water: Sometimes they’re refreshing and nourishing, and other times, they can boil and burn you. We’re all sexual beings, and fulfilling our sexual desires is a basic part of life. Use your imagination and take advantage of all the possibilities out there for safe, consensual sexcapades. Be careful, make smart choices and find positive outlets for your erotic desires. They’re out there if you’re really looking.

Read more: http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_500/533c_understanding-fetishes-voyeurism-exhibitionism.html#ixzz1lzDEaQub

 

Beautiful Women




Threesomes?

There's a whole lot of information on how to arrange a threesome, but there's very little about what you should do once you're in one.

Threesomes are not like regular sex -- they require both imagination and sensitivity. If you plan on having a threesome, you need to go into the situation with some idea of what you're going to be doing, you need some threesome rules.

Understanding these basic threesome rules will help you avoid some common mistakes that typically prevent you from getting the most out of your ménage à trois. There are various types of threesomes that you can enjoy, but we're betting that you're hoping for the type with two women, one of whom is likely your bisexual or bi-curious girlfriend or wife. What follows are the basic threesome rules on how to handle such a delectable, and potentially sticky, sexual situation.

threesome rule no. 1

Establish the rules

You're going to have sex with two women and all three of you have your own rules and limits, so understanding and respecting one another's comfort levels should be a top priority when you're establishing your threesome rules.

Because your relationship with your woman will likely be affected by this new experience, you need to be absolutely clear on which acts she's comfortable with -- and what to avoid doing -- in advance. She may tell you that she's uncomfortable with the idea of you penetrating another woman or even pleasing another woman orally.

You must respect her limits. Remember that each woman may suddenly feel jealous, so try your best not to shut either woman out and always give more attention to the woman with whom you have a relationship -- this is an extremely important threesome rule.

As well, you may end up feeling jealous if you're not the center of attention. Just keep in mind that the object of the game is to share sex between three people.

Also, remember that although some people try to drink their way to bravery for a threesome, drunken sex usually ends up being bad sex. If you want to have a cocktail or two to loosen up, that's fine, but no more. You want to be at peak performance.

threesome rule no. 2

Be as giving as you can
Although you may be hoping that the two women will give you 100% of their attention, the truth is that they're there to please each other just as much as they're there to please you. You may end up feeling ignored and should do your best to get over it.

The best way to approach this situation, and an important threesome rule to follow, is to forget your feelings for a moment and try to be as generous with your hands and mouth as you can.

Pleasure in one-on-one sex goes back and forth, but in a threesome it's more of a cycle that moves from person to person. So be patient; focus on turning both women on and the attention will come back to you.

Whatever pleasure you get in a threesome is a treat, so instead of expecting anything in particular (like getting oral sex from both women at once), enjoy everything that comes your way.

Keeping your hands moving and knowing when to penetrate are important threesome rules.

threesome rule no. 3

Keep yourself busy
When you find that both women are busy pleasuring each other and you have nothing to do, keep yourself busy. Take matters into your own hands and find something to do.

Caress the breasts, thighs or vagina(s) of one or both women, kiss their backs or necks, or give oral sex to one if she's in a position that allows you to (believe us, this will redirect attention toward you in a hurry).

If you decide instead just to pleasure yourself for a little while, don't feel bad; the action will come back to you soon enough.

threesome rule no. 4

Be careful with penetration
Penetration is what novelist Tom Robbins calls "that old show-stopper." It automatically forms a serious bond between you and one woman, leaving the other out. For this reason, penetrate only when you're sure both women are comfortable with it.

Your natural inclination will be to pay close attention to the woman you're having sex with, but you mustn't focus on her entirely. This is about the three of you, so keep that ideal close at hand. Kiss and touch the other woman, look her in the eye, and talk to her if the mood is appropriate.

Be aware that you may feel overwhelmed with pleasure if you're thrusting into one woman and kissing and caressing another, meaning that you might climax more quickly than expected. Take it slowly and pace yourself.

And don't get so excited that you lose track of the women: All three of you should be sexually satisfied and, even if you achieve climax first, you must do everything you can to bring your two partners to orgasm.

threesome rule no. 5

Be safe
Condoms are a necessity, obviously. Semen, vaginal fluid and menstrual blood transmit STDs, so use one specific hand to pleasure one specific woman and use the other hand on the other woman -- and keep it that way. You must never alternate.

Likewise, if you're having intercourse with both women, you must also use a separate condom with each partner. As well, dental dams are a good precaution for oral sex. Lubricate the side that you place against a woman's skin for better sensation.

it's not a relationship

Afterward, lie around with both women in post-coital bliss. However, remember it's not a relationship. This means that the third person likely shouldn't sleep over. It may seem like a great idea in the moment, but prolonging a threesome is a recipe for total disaster.

Be reassuring to your girlfriend or wife. You've had fun, but it's only pleasure and experimentation. Tell her that she turns you on, that seeing her being pleasured by another woman aroused you, and that while you enjoyed yourself, there's no one for you but her. She's your primary concern, so if you let her know it, you may well have more threesome adventures in the future.

Read more: http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_200/201b_love_tip.html#ixzz1lz8bdsS6